Ad films are not kid's play

The tile might sound like I am going to talk about how difficult making ad films is...actually yes, it is quite difficult to come up with ideas to suit the product being marketed. But no, that is not what I have in my mind today. I wrote about this in FaceBook notes (yeah, back to FB after I failed in my FB prohibition exercise), and  would also like this topic to be in my personal diary (ahem...!!!).


I have always wondered what Child Labour is? Is only making children work in hazardous or physically strenuous environments counted as child labour? Or any place where children are paid for their labour is included into this too?


I feel the latter too should be added within the purview of child labor. Of late, I have noticed that the ad makers are targetting the younger generations (especially the 6-10 years) age group for various ads. Soaps, detergent powders, apparels, utensils, etc. You name it, kids are there. I do not understand what is the value add here? Besides making children quit schools and earn that extra income, these ad makers and ad films are not doing any other good. OK. Maybe some people would be so naive to watch kids marketing these products and actually purchase these, but that would be the dumbest thing a person could even think about doing. For e.g. I don't understand one ad where a mathematics teacher teaches her student that 3 times 3 is not 9 but 3!!!! She is apparently talking about shampoo brand which is available 3 times extra for the same price and hence it can cater to 3 people. I mean, this is the most sorry assed ad film I have seen in my 30 years of TV viewing experience. Come on guys, at this rate we would be worse than China in mathematics in 10 years from now. The kids there are learning counting through Abacus and we are teaching mathematics through Shampoo ads?


I am also against any commercial cinemas where children are made to act since they would definitely be paid for their acting and made to work for more than 40 hours during the shooting tenure which is clearly a violation of children welfare.


I think there should be clearly defined criteria for child labour. It should be something like:
The following areas of activity would be characterised as Child Labour:
1. If the person is below 18 years of age
2. If the person is forced to work against his/her interest
3. If the person is provided compensation in cash or in kind for his/her services in promoting the brand
4. If the person is denied education for the sake of promoting the brand


And of course, even the kid's parents should not be spared the rod. After all, of what use is 'n' Rs. to a 10 year old child, it would clearly go into their parents' pockets, wouldn't it? Just like Child Marriage is illegal in India and has been abolished (well...almost), making children act in ad films and commercial masala "Running behind the bush and kissing the flowers" movies, should also be legally banned. This is the first place where I am starting my "Stop kids from acting in commercial domains" movement. Hope this gains enough momentum to completely abolish this slow poison from the society.

TiE ISB Connect: What a joke

There is this video that is doing the rounds on FaceBook. Nice video. Nice lighting effects and the audio was clear. Infact a nice entertainment. Been a longtime since I saw Siddharth speak more than a 100 words since Ayudha Poojai (or was it Ayudha Ezhuthu?)
Dude you need to stop acting in Mani Ratnam's movies. He is an expert in making his actors dumb asses (in the same order)

This is one hip hop "next gen" kid off the block. Likes to roast the media, politicians, eat roast beef at McDonald's, and use the four letter word (I meant DUDE...grow up). Dude, Dude, Dude, I am tired of listening to your Dude Dude.

Why I don't like this guy? He is a big disappointment. When I started watching this video I was really aching for something different from this chap. And he did give a good start but when he came to the AP flood relief "donation" and lamented about it, it really pissed me off.

Complaint 1:
His complaint: He took INR. 500,000 to the CM of AP and the Hon' CM did not even talk with him for 5 minutes but his focus was on the cheque. And after that he got a snap with the CM and was thrown out.
Jackass, what else did you expect when you went to see the CM? Lapdance? Pole dance with some village chics giving you a joint? If you really want to help the people, take the money to one village that is devastated by the floods, and help them rebuild their lives. Get a snap then since you actors cannot live away from a smiling pic...you may compromise on food and bath for a month, but you cannot stop seeing your smiling crap face for more than 10 minutes at a stretch.

Siddharth: Remember one thing (if you have a short memory span like you mentioned in your Generation, attention deficit, blah blah blah s***, write it down in your iPad), when you donate money to a fund organization, only 10% of it reaches the affected victims. If you really want to make a difference, go to the place, there are hundreds of NGO working their ass of without bothering about returns or credits or photo snaps. Work with them. Hold that kid in your arms, feed that hungry lady who has lost her family and house. Then donate whatever you can (I think you can), and see the difference it makes in their lives. Why do you think Bill Gates and Steve Waugh go to the orphaned HIV infected kids and not to the Trinamul Congress or CPM office? Because, these are the people who want their hard earned earnings to go directly to the people who are affected by natural calamities. Learn that and then think about doing that social responsibility thing.

Complaint 2:
Really liked the way you said you wish to slap the media's face. Why don't you try that for a change? I am tired of doing that virtually. Do you think you can really do that? You are not Naseer sir from A Wednesday that you can make a reporter dance to your tunes. Why don't you try saying one word about a reporter in a press conference where everyone is congratulating the apparent short success of your films? The next thing, your sorry a** would be on the floor with the same media kicking the hell out of your little rodent sized brain. DUDE, if you don't like the media stop watching those umpteen news channels that show kissing scandals, and money exchange scandals. Stop reading a news paper since it is the MEDIA you don't like. Stop watching Sun TV, K TV, Kalaignar TV and all those southie channels where people talk about how Siddharth  speaks Englipiss...Damn... You read these news everyday sitting on your toilet seat and keep bitching about it. I tell this too all those idiots who keep cursing the media. It is you people who have given rise to this virus. Stop watching Aaj TAK, Star News, NDTV, CNN-IBN, CNBC. Stop reading Outlook, India Today, TOI. Stop reading news on Lehren and rediff. If you do that for a year, those bunch of asses don't have an option but to fall in line when they see their TRP ratings bottoming all the way till the earth's core.

But I bet it is difficult for you isn't it? You like to bitch, but when it comes to you not coming on the front page of a news paper for having donated 500000 you wish to slap the media. Huh...!!!

And stop calling this generation as rodent brained short memory span kids. You don't have any right to say that. Just cos you have acted opposite Trisha does not make you the prince of Mars.

Oh...did you also refer to Photoshopping yourself with Hon' KG Rosaiah? Do you know which company markets this product? No...it is not redtube, no no no...it is not debonairblog either. Go google for it. Costs a fortune. Next time I see you on TiE ISB Connect, you would be bitching about this.

My dream beauty

Confused. Between Linea and SX4, which one to go for. I did a lot of research. Ground clearance, mileage, performance, safety, comfort, interiors, exteriors. The more I was in favor of SX4, the more I am getting inclined towards Linea. TD Linea today. Good performance, but with amount of lag during lower gears. But once past that, it was like a real beast, eating up all the potholes and bumps Bangalore is famous for like a South Indian gobbling up barota, like a Bengali swallowing a Rosgolla, like a Maharashtrian eating that Dheeng ladoo. In short, never knew when I hit that bump and when I cleared it. The breaking was very good and I feel this is the first sedan that has done justice to ABS + EBD. (When I test drove Manza, the breaking was not great, infact took some time for the ABS to kick in and during that time, my heart was almost near my throat with a truck in front of me :))

AC was OK. Wife complained that when AC was in full blast, the music from the 2DIN integrated music system was not audible enough (infact Santro was better here, that's what she said). But one good thing here was the availability of the rear AC vents (a.la. VW Vento) and would be a rear comfort factor for many old folks who complain about "It's hot in here". Rear seats were very comfortable with hand rests wide enough for both the passengers to place hands on without having to do that touching touching thing.

The model in the showroom had 190/60R16 16 spoke alloys, but sales guy told about Fiat replacing all new models with 185/60R15 16 poke alloys (Alloy standard for emotion and emotion PK Petrol). Now that might take the icing out of the cake since lesser diameter essentially means we are compromising on ground clearance and rear space. As such GC is 165 mm which was OK for all the bumps on Whitefield road which has one of the most enviable bumps in the world (infact I heard people actually come all the way from Hosur road to whitefield to test drive a car). But with 3 people in the car, there was no scrapping of the chassis at all,  so that means I have perfected the art of driving (oh me and my debacle on Honda Jazz)

Presence of a dead pedal makes long drives a pleasure. Tata, Maruthi, listen up. Arm rest for driver is a real boon. 500 lts of boot space makes sure I can carry a lot of stuff to Chennai and Madurai (which I normally don't do). Horn could have been a bit louder. I like the Indian way of thinking....the horn is more important than the brakes. Console was very complicated for a novice like me. Took 10 minutes to understand what each light means, something that my 5 year old nephew would have learnt in a minute and then gone to play with Thomas train for the remaining 4 minutes (the sales guy patiently explained for 5 minutes and then gave a "RTFM" kind of a look). Driver seat is height adjustable so is the wheel (tilt adjustable). And ASS as per the sales chap would be good especially since they are already in Whitefield which is a corporate hub and they cannot afford to screw up again this time. Driving in traffic was good especially since I did not have to shift to second every time to get that needed pickup with the AC on. All in all, Linea gets an 8.5/10 rating. I still need to take my dad out on this Italian stallion to get his feedback (He has 25 years of driving experience right since Fiat Premier Padmini till 2010 Ford Figo and knows every car inside out).

But I still keep thinking about SX4. And the one thing that motivates me in it's favor are the stocks. 205/65R16 and 190 mm GC, and 1.6L engine. When in the driver's seat, I could be looking down at the Toyota Fortuner driver next to me...might give me that ego boost :D. Need to wait till Jan 1, 2011 to finalize on one of these.

FaceBook, already miss you...

It's been 4 days since I logged out of FaceBook and my fingers are itching to jump back into it and type some stupid nonsensical comments that would be liked and adored by a few equally insane incarnations. But no sir, no no no no no (the Indian way), my mind will conquer over my heart. FaceBook, you still suck. And like SUCK...

Coming back to my thoughts for the day, I was talking with my colleague today and told him I had permanently quit FaceBook and he was surprised, since he felt I did put some really nice posts at times. As a matter of fact, the reason I quit FB was, FaceBook was not serving my purpose of reaching out to the world. With FB I was like a frog in the well: Born there, been there, seen there and die there...With Blogger, I was like, extending my wings outside the circle (and circle, not like in Signs, the crop circle bull crap, I mean, come on, how can some aliens be so dumb to create figures in crops and let people know 'We are here. We are here to whip your ass'. That would be the worst of sorry assed aliens who might have been rejected from the Alien community in Mars and went to MN Shyamalan to give them some chance to prove in real world).

Then we got talking about freedom to post and democracy which is what this post would be (sorry to mislead with the misleading title, could not think of something more catchy, but don't get ideas into your mind....No no no no no no).

What is freedom? If we ask a 4th grade kid he would probably talk about Mahatma Gandhi, Nehru, SVB Patel, and other freedom fighters. If you ask an adolescent, he might say, freedom for him is when his dad is not at home watching over him. A freshly recruited candidate in an IT company would say freedom for him is when his boss has taken a day off. An experienced person would say freedom for him is when his boss has taken a day off (oh we have a match).

According to me, freedom is not something we can see or speak. It is a feeling within. It is something that motivates us to live through the day to see another, all while still speaking truth and facts. Freedom is when I can look at a culprit in the eye and pledge before the law that he had committed the crime without having to worry about the safety of my family. When I can speak up in a press conference hosted by the premieres of our society and say they screwed up the society with their morals and ideals which were way off the mark of the common man. It might sound like more than what we can demand for, but that is what free democracy is all about. The word democracy has been bent and twisted in many places by many people that it has lost it's originality. Democracy is bound neatly with freedom. In democracy, you face every day through the eyes of truth, freely, unhindered by any one person who tries to take control of your life. Mahatma Gandhi once said "True freedom is when a woman can walk freely at midnight without any company". I truly appreciate these words and would like to add on to it. "True free democracy is when every person, man or woman, can walk the streets of the truth and honesty at anytime of their life, without having to worry about ifs and buts till they achieve their goal of a free country where you do not have any corruption, of mind, body or soul, where every child can grow up in the bosom of their father and mother and not orphaned out, where every religion has tolerance for one another, where we don't need a brick work to show God".

For God truly lives in a free democracy within every true person's heart and mind.

PhD in Slangology...the rediff way

Of all the things created by God, man is the most intelligent and beautiful creation. Of all the useful things created by man, rediff is the best place created to give relief to your frustration. I have been wondering for a long time now how a website could be so mind blowing (mind blasting for us Indians) with posting news and then the comments that follow. You don't need a punching bag or one of those "Punch your boss" flash games. You just need to open any post in rediff news section and post any crap you want, and no one cares. Infact, you will find followers to those comments, who are as less divine and sane as you are. Actually, that is one of the reasons for people to have so many followers in FB and Twitter (I never got the concept behind twitter...they say it is for micro blogging...How can someone ask another to STFU in as many words in Twitter....#user@STFU$GTFO...This looks like a whole new slang in itself).

But coming back to the main topic, I am a big fan of rediff comments section. That's because, this is the only place where we can learn a whole new world of slangs that I can never learn in any hindislangs.com, tamilslangs.com or any other slang advocation websites. And all it takes is to post one comment that is completely different from the topic posted...So if there is any news on CWG scams in the news, all you have to do is talk about Anjaana Anjaani and there you are...you have a fan following right there right then. BTW: If you are 21 years and below, stay away, just to ensure you are not learning anything against your "culture" (as if not saying Oh S*** is going to take you straight away to heaven, come on guys, grow up). Just to make sure the slang is not accidentally removed by the moderator, always remove spaces between your "bad" words and believe me, the moderator will not care to look at it. In fact, the half ass moderator might also think it is some C++ constructor definition and leave it be...(Put those parenthesis before and after and you are a Techie Slang Geek.

 I took the privilege of removing some words that might be "objectionable" to all you parents who think reading this will spoil the kids... all you suckers, why don't you go, get those internet blocking softwares to keep your brats away from reading about reality (net nanny, GetOutKids, etc..., and did you check your browser history 'cos you might be in for some rude shock?).

Good bye to FaceBook. Phew!!! That was a relief

Adios to F***Book, I meant, FaceBook. This is my status message in GTalk. And it was exactly what FB was doing to me. It was playing with my life and I thought this was the best time to keep it away from my life for ever. I understand we can only deactivate the FB account and if there is no activity for 14 days, it would get deleted. What do the FB sorry asses think? That I am going to return in 14 days...Well here is the shocker guys, knock yourself out, but I am never ever going to type any address in the browser or envelopes that has the word "Facebook" on it. I just hope my account termination happens like, yesterday.

It has been very hectic; All these 8 months when I was away from blogspot. Lots of work and lots of more work that I lost sense of time, and age too. Till I found that I am 30 years old, have only 20 more years of active work life left in me, and I had not achieved even 30% of what I should have achieved by the time I was 30. Someone asked me what I had achieved in all these 30 years that I was alive? And I did not have an answer for that. Because, I had not achieved anything. And in Oracle's words, that actually means I have to be deleted, since I am just a redundant piece of code that has not served it's purpose. (Maybe I need one of those T Shirts that says 'I am not 30 years old, I am just 18 with 12 years experience)

Now when I am in Blogspot, I love being here. This was the place I was always meant to be in. No more likes, no more comments, no more shares and no more mobile uploads. In short, I don't have to give a s*** to what people think about what I am saying, since it would definitely hurt many people's sentiments, but like I said, I don't give a s***. What I feel, I can blog here and if you don't like it, then sorry dude!!! You are in the wrong place. Get a life, drink a beer (and not the ginger beer, it sux, especially in India), get laid, STFU and GTF out of this post

My agenda is now full:

1. Sunday: Blue Bloods Season 1
2. Monday: Dexter Season 5 and BoardWalk Empire (Season 1)
3. Tuesday: The Event (Season 1) (Hey this is really getting interesting. I thought it would suck 10 times Lost, but it isn't...infact, it is better than the best)
4. Wednesday: Raising Hope Season 1 (hilarious, wonder how they actually make such lewd series, whereas in India, we grow up watching people bitching about people who bitch more about people)
5. Thursday: Blog...oh yeah, this is the time of the week when will kick some sorry asses.
6. Friday: The Office Season 7. Love Michael Scott. A perfect example of how a manager should not be

A Special thanks is still pending to all those people who actually made me quit FB successfully. So here it is --|-. Had it not been for you, I would have lost my life waiting for people to like my quotes, and post expert comments that I never considered expert enough to be in my league.

Don't punish your customers for your incompetencies

Often, there is a common practice amongst huge organizations to dictate their terms and conditions to a customer. And this is not done with a baton or a whip, but more in terms of soft talk from the sales engineer. Have a bunch of IIM grads who can do the talking and they can sell crap claiming it to be cheese.

For instance, a software vendor, gets a requirement from a customer to design a product according to their specifications. And since this SV has a crappy server which is not being sold on high note in the market wants to make some more revenue, they actually decide to do their development on this platform. The end result, the developers are a frustrated lot since they have spent close to 1 year making the product work on this platform, and the remaining part of their time in the company searching for a better option in a saner organization. Then you have the customer. Ah, the customer, the fall guy in all this mayhem. In most cases, the customer would be an innocent employee in a non-IT organization who would have requested for this product thinking it would make his life easier. The end result, to use this product he has to:

1. Hire a consultant who would charge him by the hour for telling him he needs to upgrade all his systems to a better configuration.

2. Hire a consultant who would procure the systems.

3. Hire a consultant who would setup the landscape on the systems.

4. Hire a consultant who would deploy the backend on the lanscape.

5. Hire a consultant who would raise messages to the IT support team about things not working.

6. Hire a consultant to supervise over these consultants.

And just when the non-IT chap thinks he has it all sorted out and things are just shaping up, a new patch for the server arrives which brings down the entire landscape.

This is the apathy towards the customers which causes many a giants to fall on their face. When we design a product for a customer, we need to think that one day we might be the customer using the same product. And then design with this attitude to success.

My Rantings on Flex (Part 2)

I am responsible for setting up the Unit test framework for my project and had setup this beautiful FlexUnit TestHarness and TestSuite which sent the results on the jazzy and colorful TestRunner. Things were working fine with the dummy test cases I had added and I was happy. So far so good. Today, the developers started contributing their tests into the test case. All that they did was this

package SomePackage

{

public class Constructor() extends TestCase

{

public function Constructor(){

}

public function getNameAndDate():void

{

var obj:Object=null;

Assert.assertNotNull(obj);

}

}

}

And then add this to the TestSuite.addTestCase(MyTestCase)

and run the test runner.

The testRunner showed a weird test case called "WarningTestCase" and showed some empty results in it. At first look, I asked my dev if he had created a testCase called WarningTestCase (I am a novice to FlexUnit hence this query) and he said he did not. Just to make sure (not that I do not trust my developers...they are the best in the industry), I searched for any instance of WarningTestCase and did not find any. Now I was flabbergasted. There should be some information on this somewhere in the net. So I Googled for WarningTestCase FlexUnit and got some half baked information from Adobe that WarningTestCase means that some of the tests within one of my testCases has failed. (This was the worst kind of error message I have ever seen in my Goddamn career as a software engineer). I am sure Adobe has some brilliant minds who could atleast make well described well defined error messages.

OK. So I went to try to find which is the test case that's failing. I tried all the available test cases and they all worked fine but this one test case was failing. I was almost on the verge of giving up when I tried one last step. I prefixed all the functions with the term test. So now getNameAndDate would go by testgetNameAndDate. I ran this test case. And Voila, the test runner showed me all the test results with appropriate assert status.

The least I would have expected would have been well defined error return codes and something that would have been documented for dummies like myself to understand.